What do you get for the supervillain who has everything?

A luxury submersible superyacht, probably. And lucky for you, one’s coming.

Austrian company Migaloo is developing the Migaloo M5: a 541-foot-long submersible that can hold 20 passengers and 40 crew members, dive to a depth of 820 feet, and stay submerged for four weeks, per Air Mail.

The superyacht, which would cost ~$2B to build, comes tricked out with all the bells and whistles, including:

• Two six-person minisubmarines, a helipad, and a room for jet skis.
• A 36-seat dining room with glass walls for ocean viewing.
• Optional additions like a swimming pool, wine cellar, or cinema, which, of course, cost extra.

Migaloo CEO and founder Christian Gumpold told The Times, “Our target group are visionary billionaires with or without existing superyacht experience who have extraordinary demands for exclusivity, safety, adventure…”

And Migaloo has designed some other wild offerings, like its Kokomo Ailand: a floating habitat with palm trees, waterfalls, beach clubs, and a shark feeding station. (If that’s not Bond-villain coded, we don’t know what is.)

Before you start practicing your evil laugh…

Where there are superyachts this big, there are problems.

Migaloo’s submersibles will have a host of obstacles to overcome:

• The percentage of yacht owners peaked in 2014 at 3.6% and has since been falling, reaching 2% in 2021 — despite the growing number of people who can afford them.
• Legal restrictions could limit large submarines from traversing waters in certain countries and potentially disrupting the environment.
• And there are, of course, safety concerns, particularly following the Titan sub’s implosion last year.

All that said: We’ve watched the ultra-rich turn back time, build bunkers, and, y’know, travel to view the Titanic wreckage — so this doesn’t exactly surprise us.

Picture this: It’s 1996. You open the newspaper — an industry yet to be decimated by the internet — as the sweet refrain of “Macarena” drifts from a passing car window.

“It defies description, but let’s try anyway: a lava lamp you can drink,” an article reads. “A neon-pastel tapioca cocktail. A chewable liquid.”

It’s Orbitz, the latest soft drink from Clearly Canadian. It retailed for $1.29 ($2.51 today) a bottle, came in six flavors — including chocolate for no sane reason — and was full of floating sugar balls suspended in a gellan gum matrix.

Was it delicious?

Boba — a similar Taiwanese concept that also came to the US in the ‘90s — is delicious. Orbitz, however, was compared to “old water from a flower vase.”

Clearly Canadian spokesperson Jonathan Cronin said the company had wanted to entertain people, and that Orbitz would make someone “the center of attention for a few moments.” And that was the problem.

When testing Orbitz in various markets in May 1996, it sold well. But once the novelty wore off, its lackluster taste failed to attract repeat buyers. By 1999, Clearly Canadian discontinued Orbitz.

Novelty beverages…

… come and go, from Miller Brewing Co.’s failed Clear beer to the bevy of weird sodas you can find at quirky shops like Charlie Brown Farms in California.

If weird is your thing, it can work, as it has for Liquid Death’s heavy-metal marketing and Jones Soda — another Canadian soft drink company that debuted in the ‘90s.

If not, maybe stick to something that people will actually buy regularly. In 2015, Clearly Canadian was able to crowdfund a return of its perfectly acceptable, inoffensive, flavored sparkling water.

But it no longer had the equipment to make Orbitz.

BTW: You can still buy unopened bottles of Orbitz on eBay for ~$30, the balls still floating.