Drake wears nail polish. Harry Styles wears skirts.
Andrew Tate drives Lambos, spews misogyny and is worshiped by millions of young men.
As men, we are at a crossroads: what does it mean to be a man?
How do we balance feelings, anger, dominance and self-awareness?
This week on The Examined Life Podcast we're joined by Scott Haber, an executive coach who teaches emotional and relational intimacy.
We ask the question:
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My top 3 takeaways
You can be fiercely masculine AND fully feel your feelings
There is a false dichotomy of masculinity: you cannot feel while being masculine. But it's only when you face feelings (like anger) that you to step more fully into love.
→ Watch the clip
Setting boundaries helps solve anger and hurt
Feeling hurt is at the core of anger. While it’s tempting to ignore the hurt (or gossip about it later), setting boundaries can help solve both.
→ Watch the clip
Feelings need “a release valve”
We think we can just push feelings down rather than acknowledge or release them. If you have the urge to numb yourself when a feeling arises, you are still stuck in the emotional experience.
My favorite quote: You can’t choose which emotions to push down
Why this episode matters to me
Masculinity affects every part of men's lives: romantic relationships, friendships, parenting, our careers and so much more.
And for me, it gets more complicated because I can bend to the stereotype of Asian men being passive and conflict avoidant.
(Now let’s see if I can get Lisa to let me paint my nails like Drake. Just once.)
If you want to dig deeper
Here’s a NYT article Modern Masculinity Is Broken - She Knows How to Fix It by Caitlin Moran.
Love letters from our fans
Hope you enjoy the episode,
Khe